Hi, Savannah! First, I thought your introduction was very clever. But, as you did for mine, I’m going to go through both pages, starting with the cover page of your storybook. I thought the picture on your cover page with Little Bo Peep was perfect. The picture is so old, and sets a good tone for the storybook. I also liked that the background of the picture with the rhyme and sheep matched the overall theme of the webpage. The only thing you may want to consider is for the cover page is centering the pictures. While it’s really not a big deal, I personally think that it would look good since the rest of the page is blank (besides the caption of course).
As I said, I thought your introduction was funny. I loved the reference of Alice going down rabbit holes. I laughed when I read that. I also liked how you tied together all of the old nursery rhymes. The idea that they all live in the same town and are friends is cute. Also, you set up the rest of the storybook very well by telling which nursery rhyme characters Little Bo Peep would be taking the reader to. Lastly, I thought the clip art on the introduction page was cute. It did seem to change the mood a bit from the older pictures on the first page, but I think the clip art worked well for the tone of the introduction. Good luck with the rest of the storybook! I’m looking forward to reading more!
I absolutely love the picture on your introductory page! Bo Peep just looks so authentic, and it was nice to have the original nursery rhyme right there too.
I also like the clip art picture of Bo Peep on your introduction page. It is so wonderful how many different ways she can be depicted. However, after reading your introduction, I felt the clip art picture seemed to fit her “personality” better.
You did a really great job writing the introduction. It has a very nice flow to it! When the rabbit was first brought up I immediately thought of Alice in Wonderland, and thought somehow Bo Peep’s sheep were going to be lost somewhere in Wonderland. However, I liked how you said you would leave adventuring into rabbit holes to Alice, very funny!
I also liked that you set the stage for the stories you will be telling by giving a quick introduction of Humpty Dumpty, the Muffin Man, and the Old Woman who lives in the shoe. I am very interested to see the different relationships between Bo Peep and her “friends” from the other nursery rhymes!
Overall, really nice job! Everything looks pretty good from a grammatical and a visual standpoint. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello Savannah! I love nursery rhymes and I’m so excited that you chose to incorporate not only Little Bo Peep but also other characters as well. The way you wrote it was very clever, I actually felt as if I was talking to Little Bo Peep and could instantly gauge how she was. Her personality seems that of an over-excited little girl who is often distracted and naïve. I like the idea that her friends are Humpty Dumpty, Alice, Muffin Man, and the Old Woman in the Shoe. This introduction definitely helped me identify how the story will be told and the style of writing you will use. The cover page is a perfect fit for the theme that you’re going for, especially the second photo with the nursery rhyme on it. The only thing that I’m confused on is the over usage of the words “my sheep” in the first paragraph. It seems a bit repetitive but after rereading it I understand now that it fits very well in the style of the introduction. It expresses Little Bo Peeps childlike attitude on things. Overall I think you did a great job on the introduction and I’m looking forward to how the rest of the story will play out!
Hi, there! First of all I have to say the design for your storybook is so adorable! It goes really well with the theme and despite having bright orange text on a white background, it's easy on the eyes. The pictures you used are cute and they suit the theme very well. I love the picture on the cover page especially. It's so old fashioned!
So from what I understand this is a story about Little Bo Peep searching for her sheep and running into various stories along the way? I love that idea! This would make for the world's cutest children's book. Or I suppose it could go pretty dark if you wanted to, a twist would be interesting. Hmm!
Your writing is good although I can't tell if Little Bo Peep is a little girl or a young woman. Beginning one of the paragraphs with "anyways..." seems to suggest that she's younger. But then I'm not entirely sure if a young girl would understand the word "fetish." I like the way that you use questions. It kind of makes it feel like there's some audience participation going on. Like I'm actually going to help a girl find her lost sheep by reading these stories. Yay!
I'm sure your storybook will turn out great. Have fun with it! :D
Hello! I found that the color scheme for your storybook was a great choice. The combination of color makes for an upbeat read which is exactly what a childrens book should be like. The template also effectively gives one a feel of nostalgia that is also included in the nursery rhymes. I love the title of it as well, the the rhyming of it makes me think of those nursery rhymes that rhyme with every sentence.
I definitely enjoyed the picture of Little Bo Peep that you included in the cover page. It has a very 50's vintage tin look to it, which I personally love. I enjoyed the included nursery rhyme as well. The way you start off with that nursery rhyme, it gives us a feel for how the rest of the stories are going to go.
I like how you used the clip art picture for your cover page. It reminds me of writing my first papers in middle school and messing around with clip art. I also liked the reference to "Alice in Wonderland," it made me think of how many people have been watching the "Once Upon A Time" television series. Overall I am interested to see how the rest of your storybook turns out. Hope you enjoy writing it!
So I read through your introduction last week and really enjoyed it, so I am glad that I got assigned to your storybook project this week! I thought your story of Humpty Dumpty was very cute. I liked that you gave background information about Humpty Dumpty before Bo Peep had her conversation with him. Also, as you mentioned in your author’s note, I think it is a great idea to give Humpty Dumpty the personality of an old southern man sitting out on his front porch in a rocking chair; it is a nice touch!
I thought you did a really nice job of incorporating the different nursery rhymes into your story. I like how it makes Nursery Land feel like a real place by connecting all the different characters!
Additionally, it was really great that Humpty Dumpty mentioned the Muffin Man when Bo Peep was talking to him; it sets the stage for the next story perfectly! So I am definitely interested in reading that story and hearing about the Muffin Man’s background story according to you.
Lastly, I really liked the picture you included. I agree that having the original nursery rhyme along with a picture of Humpty Dumpty is a nice touch. I also like that it looks like Humpty Dumpty is pointing down the road or something…perhaps to the Muffin Man’s house!
First of all, I love the pictures you use. Instead of having to tell a summary of the main nursery rhyme, you just have the picture right there! I was cracking up when I was reading the intro because I know if it was actually me standing there, having this weird girl ramble on about her sheep and a bunch of other random things, I would probably just turn around and walk away. But she didn't give me a choice and just enlisted me in her crazy adventure! So now I have to go and help her find her stinkin' sheep! Dang it! Haha, that is how I felt at least. I especially liked how you worked to seamlessly incorporate as many different nursery rhymes into your first story. It was very impressive how many you used and it would take me a little bit to realize that there was another one right there! It was great! I am very excited to read more of your stories! You have a great style and, even if I didn't have a choice, I am glad to be dragged on this adventure!
I just wanted to thank you for your great feedback about my storybook! I'm glad that you like nursery rhymes as much as I do! I'm excited to read your storybook since it is also dealing with nursery rhymes. I hope you have a great weekend!
I was just reading back through the comments on my Comment Wall, and wanted to thank you for the feedback you gave me! I really appreciate the suggestions you made in regards to the format of my pages. Even though it is helpful to have feedback on the stories themselves, it is also useful to get comments on how things look. Thanks again!
Hi Savannah! I wanted to thank you for the comment you left about my storybook. You had mentioned that the font was drab and not matching the rest of the storybook, and I completely agree. I hadn't thought about it until after reading your post but I changed it soon after and I think it improved the site a lot! Thanks again!
Good morning! I wanted to come and thank you for the post you put on my comment wall. Specifically the suggestion you made about describing the area where my characters landed better. I love it when a book or story is visual enough that you can picture what is going on in your head, I get sucked into to books even faster when they are like that! So after reading your comment I went back in and tried to give a few more descriptions as to what the area was like and where they had landed. I really hope it helps! Thanks again and have a great weekend!
Savannah, Your cover page looks great! It has some cool elements to it. The colors are bright and vibrant. I like the text you chose. It makes the page look like it is a handwritten story or poem. At first glance of your storybook it looks like it may be a nursery rhyme. Based off your picture, you chose a piece from an old classic with also words from the story. I can’t wait to read it.
Your Introduction is cute and very clever! I like how you introduce Little Bo Peep and have her explain how she lost her sheep. He seems so scared and worried I hope she finds here sheep some. I also like you introduced 3 of her closest friends that may know something about the disappearance of Bo Peep’s sheep. I cannot wait to read about Humpty Dumpty or the Muffin Man, and see if they have any information on the mysterious disappearance of the sheep.
Oh the good story of Humpty and his great fall! I think it’s great how you made a mini story of your own about his origin. I never would have thought about that. It is glad to know that Humpty was not just a grumpy mean person, but in fact just a sad and broken egg wishing he was whole again. I think you did an amazing job with the rest of the story.
Savannah, Your storybook looks great! The way the whole site is set up really gives it the feel you would expect from a nursery rhyme. The font you chose gives the whole thing a hand-written vibe that I really like. The photo you chose was perfect way to introduce the theme of old nursery rhymes. I couldn't wait to get to your actual stories!
The introduction was awesome. I really like your idea of having all of these old nursery rhyme characters living together in a small town where everyone knows everyone. Choosing Bo Peep as your narrator/tour guide is great, because she definitely would need to go talk to everyone in order to find her sheep. Your whole idea is incredibly clever and makes me want to keep reading!
I always thought that Humpty Dumpty was a sad story, because he just seems so unlucky. Regardless, I really liked the way that you told your story. Giving his back story was a cool way to add some depth to him as a character. I also like that you had him almost smile at Bo Peep. Because, who in that town wouldn't like the sweet, innocent, little Bo Peep when all she is doing is looking for her sheep haha. You're doing a great job, and I can't wait to read what's next!
Savannah, I think your cover page suits your subject matter better than most of the storybooks I’ve looked at! The colors, the font, and the images all look wonderful. You did a great job with the aesthetic!
I thought it was funny that you referenced Alice in Wonderland in your introduction. I was also pleased to see that you brought in other characters. That helped to complete the fairy-tale feel in my opinion. Also, that choice created a nice flow in to your actual stories. The friendly guidance of Little Bo Peep through the stories makes the stories easy and fun to read.
Although you did incorporate a lot of different things into your story, I think it worked for you! I also liked how in your story, you had Little Bo Peep tell the story of Humpty Dumpty and you continued to follow the quest of Little Bo Peep as she searched for her sheep. Most of my comments about your second story, The Muffin Man, are similar to my comments to your first style. I think your storytelling style matches up nicely with nursery rhymes and that allows you to infuse stories that might be kind of dated with new life! Good job!
Hi Savannah! Your storybook is so fun! I love how you were able to merge different stories and present it through the context of Little Bo Peep. Your intro page is really great in introducing the character, and I really like your choice of design. The text is clear to read and make the different pictures stand out. The pictures were also well-chosen and contribute to vividly picturing the characters. I really liked your nod to Alice and her eccentricity in the rabbit hole bit. With Humpty Dumpty, you really expanded his character, and I loved your explanation of why he sat on the wall-- to greet people and tell stories! You idea of why he never had to leave was so great also! You merged different poems really well, and I like your version more than any of the separate rhymes. The next story, the muffin man, was even better! You merged all of the stories really well, and it explaining the muffin man's obsession very clearly. The flow of the different stories is very smooth, and you chose the Bo Peep story well to tie them all together. The stories within a main story is an excellent way to retell these nursery tales. I really enjoyed your storybook, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
Hi, Savannah! I'm commenting on your storybook overall, and I have to say I think you've done a great job! From the moment I clicked on your page and saw your picture on your cover page, I was interested. Then, I read your introduction and I was hooked! I love how each of the main characters in your stories has a distinct voice and personality. Your Humpty Dumpty story made me smile because I have always been a little bit disturbed by the story (it is never explicitly stated in the nursery rhyme itself that Humpty is an egg, making the idea of putting him back together pretty horrifying!), but your version was wonderful. I love that you gave him some southern flair - I was honestly hearing Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey's character is House of Cards) when he spoke. You did a great job of not only incorporating many different nursery rhymes into each story, but you were also able to interconnect them - like Old King Cole being the King in Humpty Dumpty, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider being the spider that frightened Miss Muffet away. Even though you added a lot of characters and a lot of detail, I didn't find your stories overwhelming or cramped. You just did such a great job of tying everything together. It's also really cool and different that you allow the reader to hear a story about the main character and then we get to "meet" said character which creates an aspect of both direct and indirect characterization.That was a great touch! I can't wait to see what other rhymes you are able to weave into your stories. Great job!
Great job on your storybook thus far Savannah! Your coverage was adorable! Little Bo Peep looks super sassy and the overall visual appeal of your storybook is great. As far as the introduction goes, I really liked it. Everything was well written and I didn't see any typos in any of the stories. One thing I would like to praise you for was your ability to incorporate several nursery rhymes into each story. Additionally, the way you explained everything made me picture nursery land in my head and I was playing out each interaction with the characters. You had great detail and the way you told each story was very creative! I also like how you set each story up, so that way all of the stories flowed together and kept the reader intrigued. Another thing you did well was picking your pictures. Each picture was very well chosen and added to the overall appeal of your stories. Overall, you did a great job. These were great plot twists to the nursery rhymes that we grew up with. They were well written and great at keeping my attention, which is very hard for me to do! Keep up the good work!
I love your storybook topic! It’s very catchy and drew me right in! When I read your introduction I got a clear sense of your voice and the tone of the storybook. You did a great job continuing that in all of the stories, too! All the stories just felt like they went together, and I loved how you meshed together stories (I’m a huge fan of crossovers, so when I say I loved it, I did) to make an in depth new story. The plot of your storybook is also spot on. The goal is to find the sheep. It’s easy and I get it, and it adds a lot of interest for the reader. I know I need to keep reading, so I can figure out where those sheep disappeared to. I adore the pictures you used throughout your storybook. They’re all similar in style and have the original poem on them. It’s great! Plus, it’s just all cohesive and also fit in really well with the theme you chose for your storybook. The colors all match and I’ve just really got nothing bad to say. The cursive in the navigation is a little difficult to read, but I honestly don’t even think you need the navigation since you’ve got all the pages linked. It might be more fun just to follow the links! Anyway, great job!
This is such a cute storybook! I love everything about it! I think your overall background and font are perfect for the theme and easy to read. The image on your homepage is really cute too. I really liked your introduction as well. I thought it was going to be Alice in Wonderland but with Little Bo Peep but I like that you didn't have her go down the rabbit hole but still used the rabbit as the explanation of how Bo Peep lost track of her sheep. I also like that your incorporating other Mother Goose characters and having them tell stories as well. I like how you linked the next story in the "follow me;" that's a really good idea.
The Humpty Dumpty story was cute too! I really like how you incorporated the story of the Three Little Pigs in there as well as parts of other nursery rhymes like "Star Light" and Old King Cole. I read in your author's note that you gave Humpty Dumpty an old southern man's personality and I can definitely see that! I also thought about the old man from Up. Grumpy Humpty Dumpty.
Hi Savannah! I am doing the extra credit this week and I decided to read your storybook to comment on. I did the extra credit last week and for some reason I did not notice yours, but this week when I was scrolling through the list, your cute title caught my attention! Since I have not commented on your storybook yet, I will be commenting on your cover page, introduction, and first story. First of all, the layout of your storybook is awesome. It seems like you put a lot of thought and time into creating a layout and theme that matches perfect with your storybook. The curly font, pictures, and colors seem perfect for a storybook about nursery rhymes! I loved your introduction and it seems fitting for a children's book. I am assuming that is the idea you were going for? Your introduction was great by allowing us to know which nursery rhymes we are going to be hearing about, and you did a great job of not giving away too much! Your first story was so good! I like that you incorporated different nursery rhymes that most everyone is familiar with into the story of Humpty Dumpty. What a creative way to retell his story! I also like the picture you included because it has the original poem. Overall great job on your storybook so far, and I can't wait to read the rest of your storybook later!
Let me just start by saying that I feel like I'm in the pages of a nursery book with your Storybook! I love it! Nursery rhymes are such a big part of a lot of people's histories and so I'm sure a lot of those people relate to it really well! I surely do. I definitely picked up on the old southern man accent of Humpty Dumpty! I'm so glad you gave him a voice and a happier ending than just dying...that was always so sad and my least favorite part. I love that Humpty gave Bo Peep a smile at the end of everything, it shows that the frown that is on him is not altogether permanent and things still make him happy! Old men can be grumpy later on in life too, so it fits well. This feels like an inception story kind of, too! A story within a story within a story! This is such a creative Storybook idea. I really can't wait to see what other nursery rhymes you use in the rest of your stories. You are doing a fantastic job and please keep up the good work!!
What a cute and very clever take on a very old nursery rhyme! I’m not sure if you noticed but your introduction has a little bit of a rhyming/ musical flow about it, kind of like in the original rhyme about Little Bo Peep and how she lost her sheep. What I really enjoyed was feeling like I jumped into a book and now knows how the characters are actually thinking and feeling about these situations. You did an incredibly job of intertwining different stories together. I would have never thought that Bo Peep and Alice in Wonderland would have been two stories that could have collided, but you definitely proved me wrong! Your stories definitely captured my attention! I had to know how you were going to intertwine each of the stories with another! Let me just say that your creative mind goes far beyond my bounds! I am so incredibly impressed. I think my brain exploded once I saw the “star light, star bright,” nursery rhyme! Make sure to reread your third paragraph in your second story, there is some stuff missing (he followed the smell). You got me again in that paragraph though! The Muffin Man to the Itsy Bitsy Spider to Little Miss Muffet! My brain is swirling! Absolutely excellent job! I actually ended up reading your storybook to a good friend of mine and just loved it too! Keep up the good work! Looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello again Savannah! I decided to read your storybook again for my bonus because I really enjoyed your storybook last time, and I was excited to see what you wrote this week. I enjoyed your Muffin Man story and I liked what you did with the story. You completely personalized it and made it your own. I know it’s hard to try and come up with stories especially if you base it off of a short nursery rhyme like that one. However, I think you did a ready Job. I liked how you first incorporated a story, within a story by giving us the run down on why the Muffin Man is in the first place, and why he is obsessed with muffins in the first place. The love story with Little Miss Muffet was sweet. He tried so hard to get her attention but, Itsy bitsy ruined it! It was nice how you blended in multiple stories into the same world, like the Itsy Spider. Well Done. I have a thought about the gingerbread man too. Didn’t the Muffin Man make the Gingerbread Man. I know it’s your story and all, but that would be cool if you could make another story just based off the gingerbread man, and why the muffin man decided to make him!! Anyways great job again!.
Hello Savannah! I chose your storybook as my free choice this week. I have not seen your storybook yet so I am going to comment on just about everything. Your cover page is wonderful and a great start to your storybook. I like the font you have chosen. The font reminds me of a children’s book. I do not know if that is what you were going for but if that was great job. The picture you have chosen is wonderful as well. The font for your introduction is nice and easy to read. Thank you for that! The introduction is amazing. It is one of the best that I have read this year. I really like how you included Alice. For a second I thought you were going to say that Little Bo Peep was actually Alice that would have been a crazy twist. I like that you added a picture to your introduction as well. I think this really helps pull the reader into the story. Your first story is incredible! You are so creative with your stories. I think this is the best storybook I have read this year or last year. I read some really good storybooks last year but none kept me as entertained as yours! You are a great writer and I will continue reading your storybook next week!
Hi Savannah! First of all, I love the theme of your storybook--I always find it so refreshing to read nursery rhymes that I've read countless times before, but from a new perspective. I thought the background that you chose, while plain, reflected the simplicity and innocence that these stories carry. I also loved the font that you chose; it adds a fun touch of whimsy. :)
Your stories are very well written, and I loved how you incorporated tales from all different sources. In your introduction, your mention of Alice made me chuckle. I really enjoyed how you set up your storytelling style very clearly: Little Bo Peep is the tour guide around this little town, and she will shed light on the everyday lives of the famous nursery rhyme characters.
I love that you retold the story of Humpty Dumpty. Like you said in the author's note, this is probably one of the most well known nursery rhymes--and you did a great job of framing it in a new light with the help of other childhood stories! The way that you told his story was very unique and original; great job!
The story of the Muffin Man was also so cute...the poor guy, I really hope he can win over Little Miss Muffet someday!
Overall, your story is coming along very nicely! Again, the way that you incorporate all different kinds of stories is great; they all mesh together effortlessly and in such a creative way. I can't wait to read more of your story later on!
Hi Savannah! I decided to do the extra credit for the commenting on storybooks this week, and because I loved reading your storybook story about Humpty Dumpty, I decided to come back and read more. Since I have already commented on your cover page, introduction, and first story, I read your second story and will be commenting on that.
I loved the beginning of your story. I could not imagine a world without sweets. I do not know how people live without sweets. I know they are bad for you but boy do they taste good! Again, I like how you have been adding more than one nursery rhymes to the main nursery rhyme you are trying to retell. It is such an awesome combination of different characters we are all familiar with. And poor Muffin Man! If it wasn't for the Itsy Bitsy Spider, maybe Little Miss Muffet would have liked the Muffin Man just as much as he liked her. Hopefully one day all his hard work of making muffins will bring Little Miss Muffet back to him and give him a chance!
I'm back! I couldn't wait to read the new stories that you've come up with since I last looked at your story book. Let's just say that I wasn't disappointed haha. The Muffin Man is a great choice for your second story, because he is so well known. Also, every town, even in nursery land, needs a baker, so it is natural that the Muffin Man would be the town baker. I really enjoyed the story, and I was incredibly impressed at how many different nursery rhyme characters that you crammed into your story! Getting Little Miss Muffet and Itsy Bitsy Spider into a story about the Muffin Man in super creative. This story was great!
Your story about the Old Lady in the Shoe is just as impressive as your other stories! It still blows my mind that you were able to get so many other famous characters into such a short story. I also really like that you give a little back story for each character that Bo Peep visits. It's like she's actually introducing us into all of the inhabitants of the little town. Anyways, you're doing a fantastic job! Keep doing what you're doing!
Hello Savannah, I told you I would be back. Your storybook was so great last time that I just had to come back and read more. Your second story did not disappoint me. I love how creative you are with all of your stories. Adding other nursery rhymes into your stories is what I think I like best. The addition you made to the Muffin Man was perfect. I liked that a girl was the reason that he became obsessed with muffins. Making that girl Little Miss Muffet was the perfect way to add in a couple more nursery rhymes. When I read your stories, I get the feeling that you put a lot of time into them but then I start to think about my crazy stories and how they just seem to flow out. So I am left with the question do you spend a lot of time on these stories or do they just flow out? I was going to read your third story but I have already written so much that it would be a waste now. So I will read that one next week because I am addicted to your storybook and can’t get enough. Great job!
I picked your storybook project for my free choice this week. I had read through your introduction and your first story over Humpty Dumpty a few weeks ago and really enjoyed them. So I was definitely looking forward to reading more!
Your second story over the Muffin Man certainly did not disappoint! Like you mentioned in your author’s note, the nursery rhyme over the Muffin Man is extremely short, which leaves a lot of room for you to be creative. Having so little to work with can be difficult sometimes, but you did a wonderful job taking the short rhyme and creating an entire story out of it!
I thought the love story between the Muffin Man and Little Miss Muffet was absolutely adorable! I really like how you have taken so many different characters from various nursery rhymes and somehow connected them together.
Also, you did a great job of conveying the Muffin Man’s personality that you created. It was very distinguished like you wanted it to be. As a reader, I could tell that he was very spastic and obsessed with his muffins through the dialogue you created.
Overall, everything looks really good, and I am sure I will be coming back to read more!
I really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I thought that the layout of your site seemed very fitting for the theme of your storybook. The light white and creme colors reminded me of the wool from a sheep! The two images on the home page were really fun. I really liked the two dancing little sheep and the poem that went along with them.
The introduction to your storybook is superbly written! You've done a great job of really bringing the character of Bo Peep to life. The dialogue and vernacular of this character really makes her seem like an innocent little girl who just cares about her sheep. I like how you incorporated characters from other stories in this; when you first described the rabbit with the pocket watch, I thought to myself "Is that the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland?" When Bo Peep confirmed this with her line "Heck no, I'm not following that bunny down a rabbit hole; I'll leave that for Alice," it made me laugh! I like the idea that all of these characters from different fables all know each other. I can't wait to see what happens with Humpty Dumpty, the Muffin Man, and the Old Lady in the shoe!
So first off I absolutely love your cover page and overall theme! I think it is such a creative idea but also is one that we all know and love. We all grew up reading this story of having it read to us before we went to bed so I feel that it will grab the attention of readers in this class very quickly! I really like the picture you used and also the fact that it is in the center of the page, I think it makes the page look well balanced. I also like the colors and font you used, I think they all compliment each other and really strengthen the overall theme! Great job!
I think that your introduction page is really cute! Everything flows nicely together from the colors to the picture to the font. I like how you brought in another story briefly; Alice in Wonderland. I think it makes it a bit more creative and really shows versatility!
I love your Humpty Dumpty Story! That is another story that we always grow up hearing so I think it is fun to revisit them! Everything is written really well and is clear. I think that you did a great job of making everything easy to follow and not get confused by. Overall great job so far!
Your stories cease to amaze me! Every time I read one I am in absolute awe and amazement! I read your Living in a Shoe this week and I have to say I was not disappointed. Thank you very much for answering my question on how she can have so many children. You emphasized it so much I just had to know! I definitely love the way you introduced Jack. My favorite was the “yeah, he’s a little strange” comment you made about him. I find Bo Peep’s dry humor to be hilarious and quite refreshing. And it makes so much sense that the parents would give the Old Woman their kids to keep them safe. I was hoping she was going to pull a Brad-gelina and just adopt a million kids. I really liked how Mary was Bo Peep’s friend. It just makes since because they are both so into barn yard animals, specifically sheep. I think you set a record for how many nursery rhymes you could fit into one story with this one! That was such a wonderful end to the entirety of your storybook. It is perfectly fitting that Old McDonald would have them and put them in Mary’s care. Excellent job, yet again!
Hello again Savannah, I am back for the end of your storybook. I still cannot get over how great your story has been. I thoroughly enjoy reading your storybook. You knocked the last story out of the park! I loved how you were able to include so much in the last story. I think having Solomon Grundy as her husband was the perfect way to give her a husband. Having him as the husband was an easy way to get him out of the way so that she could be alone with the children. I thought that the city having a child ban was a great way to have people give her their child. I agree that she should have a child of her own. Making that child Jack was a great choice that allowed you to add another rhyme. Having him locked up being the reason that he came up with jumping over the candle stick was just great. I can’t believe that all of this flowed easily. I look at this story and I do not think that I would be able to add so much to my story. I guess my stories all just kind of flow like that as well but this includes so much. Great job on your storybook!
Savannah, what a cute idea you have going with the missing sheep and Little Bo Peep having to find them! I think the theme of your site is really fitting for Bo Peep as well with the simple layout cute, girly elements, and pictures from storybook pages with the main story lines on them. I think they set up the storybook and its stories really well!
As for your introduction, I was not sure what kind of stories you would tell and just assumed they would all center on Little Bo Peep, but I love that you brought in other nursery rhyme characters (and even mentioned Alice from Alice in Wonderland) in your intro to stop in with to help find the sheep and tell their stories. That was a really neat and unique idea!
I ended up reading the story titled "Living in a Shoe," and I was SO impressed. I think it was so unique and well-told. The way you incorporated so many characters into the story and it still flowed so well and made sense was really impressive. You tied them all together and creatively told a really good story! It obviously must have taken a lot of work to read, re-incorporate and tie all these elements together and I think you did it so well.
Overall, your idea for your storybook and the way the stories were told was really great!!! Good job, Savannah!
I decided to come back to your storybook project yet again! I have really enjoyed reading your stories, so I am a little sad that they are coming to an end! Once again, you have done a really nice job on taking such short nursery rhymes and expanding on them and elaborating enough to create an entirely new story.
I thought your grandma character was a great idea! Also, I really like the way you incorporated Solomon Grundy into the story as her husband. Although it was really unfortunate that he died so quickly, it worked out nicely with your story! It was also nice to see all the various kids from different nursery rhymes brought in as Grandma’s children; that was precious!
I have to admit, I did not know that the Child Snatcher was from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So I am really glad you mentioned that in your author’s note. As far as keeping the mood to the story light and childlike, I think you did a great job! It is no easy task to essentially kill off a character in a children’s story, but you did it without being overly morbid or killing the mood of the story.
Overall, I think you did a great job with this project, and I am glad I got to read it!
I am so glad that I had the opportunity to finish reading your storybook! I read it a few weeks ago and I just had to know how it ended. You once again did a great job of incorporating several different nursery rhyme characters into one story. This shows how creative you are and how good you are at making connections. The fact you were able to use the old woman who lives in a shoe and put several characters as her kids was genius! I also was glad that the story had a happy ending. The ending was kind of abrupt though, and I was shocked by that. You may consider dragging out the interaction between little bo peep and the old woman who lives in a shoe. It seemed very quick and like something was missing. just a thought though. Other than that I loved every story you put in your storybook. I thought everything was well-written and that you did an amazing job. You did an exceptional job at using detail and imagery. I loved everything about this storybook! You should be proud of yourself, you have truly created something special. Great job and thank you for sharing!
Your storybook is so so cute! I think it could definitely be printed as a real book!
Poor little Muffin Man! All that hard work only to be ruined by the Itsy Bitsy Spider. I really enjoy how you incorporate so many different characters from different stories into one without making it overwhelming or weird. I know in the original story Miss Muffet is scared away by a spider, but I like that you made Itsy Bitsy and that the Muffin Man accidentally scared her away. I think it all just ties together so well. The image you used is really cute too!
I really liked the Living in a Shoe story! I liked that you gave the Old Woman a background and explained why she had so many children. And again, I really like how you incorporated so many different stories into this one. The images you used were really cute too. I was a little disappointed to read in your author's note that this is probably your last story. They're all so cute and well written! I definitely got the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference!
Overall, I think this is a really great storybook and really well written!
Your storybook has such a doll-like look to it! It reminds me of a children’s book style. I love that you wrote the introduction in first person from Bo Peep’s perspective and she brings the audience in to help her find her sheep. Oh! I love that you brought the Alice in Wonderland theme in as well with the rabbit! It is so funny that she is friends with Alice. By bringing in all these characters we know, it’s really going to be a fun trip through your storybook!
For Humpty Dumpty, you used such good imagery to create the environment. I can just imagine that wall and ol’ Humpty Dumpty sitting on it! I like this rendition of his story. Being a storyteller and kind hearted person, of course the Big Bad Wolf would pick on him! What a crazy idea that his sad frown would ruin his personality!
I can tell you really put a lot of creative thought into this story. The stories you chose all fit together so wonderfully and it creates a way for us to have this story in Nursery Land unlike any other we have known. Good job on your storybook! It is such a fun read!
Hey Savannah, this is my first time to read your storybook but I am glad that I did!
Your coverpage was great and it set the mood for the entire story. I thought the picture that you chose was perfect! I did not read the 1895 version, but I remember reading out of a book with a very similar cover!
I really liked your introduction. Your reference to Alice was pretty funny and set up the rest of the stories. "Heck no" - awesome. I can picture her saying that! I noticed a spelling error - "If my precious sheep aren't there, then *w'll go over to see the Muffin Man" but other than that it was excellent.
As I keep reading, I gain more and more of an appreciation for the stories you wrote. You did a fantastic job of linking everything together and picking a group of nursery rhymes that would work together. Each story has such an interesting mix of nursery rhymes and they all fit together perfectly. I have never thought about doing this, but it might definitely help out someday when kids come along. If one story doesn't get them to sleep, maybe a segway into the next will help put them at ease! Thanks for the idea!
Hi, Savannah! First, I thought your introduction was very clever. But, as you did for mine, I’m going to go through both pages, starting with the cover page of your storybook. I thought the picture on your cover page with Little Bo Peep was perfect. The picture is so old, and sets a good tone for the storybook. I also liked that the background of the picture with the rhyme and sheep matched the overall theme of the webpage. The only thing you may want to consider is for the cover page is centering the pictures. While it’s really not a big deal, I personally think that it would look good since the rest of the page is blank (besides the caption of course).
ReplyDeleteAs I said, I thought your introduction was funny. I loved the reference of Alice going down rabbit holes. I laughed when I read that. I also liked how you tied together all of the old nursery rhymes. The idea that they all live in the same town and are friends is cute. Also, you set up the rest of the storybook very well by telling which nursery rhyme characters Little Bo Peep would be taking the reader to. Lastly, I thought the clip art on the introduction page was cute. It did seem to change the mood a bit from the older pictures on the first page, but I think the clip art worked well for the tone of the introduction. Good luck with the rest of the storybook! I’m looking forward to reading more!
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the picture on your introductory page! Bo Peep just looks so authentic, and it was nice to have the original nursery rhyme right there too.
I also like the clip art picture of Bo Peep on your introduction page. It is so wonderful how many different ways she can be depicted. However, after reading your introduction, I felt the clip art picture seemed to fit her “personality” better.
You did a really great job writing the introduction. It has a very nice flow to it! When the rabbit was first brought up I immediately thought of Alice in Wonderland, and thought somehow Bo Peep’s sheep were going to be lost somewhere in Wonderland. However, I liked how you said you would leave adventuring into rabbit holes to Alice, very funny!
I also liked that you set the stage for the stories you will be telling by giving a quick introduction of Humpty Dumpty, the Muffin Man, and the Old Woman who lives in the shoe. I am very interested to see the different relationships between Bo Peep and her “friends” from the other nursery rhymes!
Overall, really nice job! Everything looks pretty good from a grammatical and a visual standpoint. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello Savannah! I love nursery rhymes and I’m so excited that you chose to incorporate not only Little Bo Peep but also other characters as well. The way you wrote it was very clever, I actually felt as if I was talking to Little Bo Peep and could instantly gauge how she was. Her personality seems that of an over-excited little girl who is often distracted and naïve. I like the idea that her friends are Humpty Dumpty, Alice, Muffin Man, and the Old Woman in the Shoe. This introduction definitely helped me identify how the story will be told and the style of writing you will use. The cover page is a perfect fit for the theme that you’re going for, especially the second photo with the nursery rhyme on it. The only thing that I’m confused on is the over usage of the words “my sheep” in the first paragraph. It seems a bit repetitive but after rereading it I understand now that it fits very well in the style of the introduction. It expresses Little Bo Peeps childlike attitude on things. Overall I think you did a great job on the introduction and I’m looking forward to how the rest of the story will play out!
ReplyDeleteHi, there! First of all I have to say the design for your storybook is so adorable! It goes really well with the theme and despite having bright orange text on a white background, it's easy on the eyes. The pictures you used are cute and they suit the theme very well. I love the picture on the cover page especially. It's so old fashioned!
ReplyDeleteSo from what I understand this is a story about Little Bo Peep searching for her sheep and running into various stories along the way? I love that idea! This would make for the world's cutest children's book. Or I suppose it could go pretty dark if you wanted to, a twist would be interesting. Hmm!
Your writing is good although I can't tell if Little Bo Peep is a little girl or a young woman. Beginning one of the paragraphs with "anyways..." seems to suggest that she's younger. But then I'm not entirely sure if a young girl would understand the word "fetish." I like the way that you use questions. It kind of makes it feel like there's some audience participation going on. Like I'm actually going to help a girl find her lost sheep by reading these stories. Yay!
I'm sure your storybook will turn out great. Have fun with it! :D
Hello! I found that the color scheme for your storybook was a great choice. The combination of color makes for an upbeat read which is exactly what a childrens book should be like. The template also effectively gives one a feel of nostalgia that is also included in the nursery rhymes. I love the title of it as well, the the rhyming of it makes me think of those nursery rhymes that rhyme with every sentence.
ReplyDeleteI definitely enjoyed the picture of Little Bo Peep that you included in the cover page. It has a very 50's vintage tin look to it, which I personally love. I enjoyed the included nursery rhyme as well. The way you start off with that nursery rhyme, it gives us a feel for how the rest of the stories are going to go.
I like how you used the clip art picture for your cover page. It reminds me of writing my first papers in middle school and messing around with clip art. I also liked the reference to "Alice in Wonderland," it made me think of how many people have been watching the "Once Upon A Time" television series. Overall I am interested to see how the rest of your storybook turns out. Hope you enjoy writing it!
Hey, Savannah!
ReplyDeleteSo I read through your introduction last week and really enjoyed it, so I am glad that I got assigned to your storybook project this week! I thought your story of Humpty Dumpty was very cute. I liked that you gave background information about Humpty Dumpty before Bo Peep had her conversation with him. Also, as you mentioned in your author’s note, I think it is a great idea to give Humpty Dumpty the personality of an old southern man sitting out on his front porch in a rocking chair; it is a nice touch!
I thought you did a really nice job of incorporating the different nursery rhymes into your story. I like how it makes Nursery Land feel like a real place by connecting all the different characters!
Additionally, it was really great that Humpty Dumpty mentioned the Muffin Man when Bo Peep was talking to him; it sets the stage for the next story perfectly! So I am definitely interested in reading that story and hearing about the Muffin Man’s background story according to you.
Lastly, I really liked the picture you included. I agree that having the original nursery rhyme along with a picture of Humpty Dumpty is a nice touch. I also like that it looks like Humpty Dumpty is pointing down the road or something…perhaps to the Muffin Man’s house!
Really nice job overall!
First of all, I love the pictures you use. Instead of having to tell a summary of the main nursery rhyme, you just have the picture right there! I was cracking up when I was reading the intro because I know if it was actually me standing there, having this weird girl ramble on about her sheep and a bunch of other random things, I would probably just turn around and walk away. But she didn't give me a choice and just enlisted me in her crazy adventure! So now I have to go and help her find her stinkin' sheep! Dang it! Haha, that is how I felt at least. I especially liked how you worked to seamlessly incorporate as many different nursery rhymes into your first story. It was very impressive how many you used and it would take me a little bit to realize that there was another one right there! It was great! I am very excited to read more of your stories! You have a great style and, even if I didn't have a choice, I am glad to be dragged on this adventure!
ReplyDeleteSavannah,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to thank you for your great feedback about my storybook! I'm glad that you like nursery rhymes as much as I do! I'm excited to read your storybook since it is also dealing with nursery rhymes. I hope you have a great weekend!
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI was just reading back through the comments on my Comment Wall, and wanted to thank you for the feedback you gave me! I really appreciate the suggestions you made in regards to the format of my pages. Even though it is helpful to have feedback on the stories themselves, it is also useful to get comments on how things look. Thanks again!
Hi Savannah! I wanted to thank you for the comment you left about my storybook. You had mentioned that the font was drab and not matching the rest of the storybook, and I completely agree. I hadn't thought about it until after reading your post but I changed it soon after and I think it improved the site a lot! Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteGood morning! I wanted to come and thank you for the post you put on my comment wall. Specifically the suggestion you made about describing the area where my characters landed better. I love it when a book or story is visual enough that you can picture what is going on in your head, I get sucked into to books even faster when they are like that! So after reading your comment I went back in and tried to give a few more descriptions as to what the area was like and where they had landed. I really hope it helps! Thanks again and have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteSavannah,
ReplyDeleteYour cover page looks great! It has some cool elements to it. The colors are bright and vibrant. I like the text you chose. It makes the page look like it is a handwritten story or poem. At first glance of your storybook it looks like it may be a nursery rhyme. Based off your picture, you chose a piece from an old classic with also words from the story. I can’t wait to read it.
Your Introduction is cute and very clever! I like how you introduce Little Bo Peep and have her explain how she lost her sheep. He seems so scared and worried I hope she finds here sheep some. I also like you introduced 3 of her closest friends that may know something about the disappearance of Bo Peep’s sheep. I cannot wait to read about Humpty Dumpty or the Muffin Man, and see if they have any information on the mysterious disappearance of the sheep.
Oh the good story of Humpty and his great fall! I think it’s great how you made a mini story of your own about his origin. I never would have thought about that. It is glad to know that Humpty was not just a grumpy mean person, but in fact just a sad and broken egg wishing he was whole again. I think you did an amazing job with the rest of the story.
Savannah,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook looks great! The way the whole site is set up really gives it the feel you would expect from a nursery rhyme. The font you chose gives the whole thing a hand-written vibe that I really like. The photo you chose was perfect way to introduce the theme of old nursery rhymes. I couldn't wait to get to your actual stories!
The introduction was awesome. I really like your idea of having all of these old nursery rhyme characters living together in a small town where everyone knows everyone. Choosing Bo Peep as your narrator/tour guide is great, because she definitely would need to go talk to everyone in order to find her sheep. Your whole idea is incredibly clever and makes me want to keep reading!
I always thought that Humpty Dumpty was a sad story, because he just seems so unlucky. Regardless, I really liked the way that you told your story. Giving his back story was a cool way to add some depth to him as a character. I also like that you had him almost smile at Bo Peep. Because, who in that town wouldn't like the sweet, innocent, little Bo Peep when all she is doing is looking for her sheep haha. You're doing a great job, and I can't wait to read what's next!
Savannah, I think your cover page suits your subject matter better than most of the storybooks I’ve looked at! The colors, the font, and the images all look wonderful. You did a great job with the aesthetic!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was funny that you referenced Alice in Wonderland in your introduction. I was also pleased to see that you brought in other characters. That helped to complete the fairy-tale feel in my opinion. Also, that choice created a nice flow in to your actual stories. The friendly guidance of Little Bo Peep through the stories makes the stories easy and fun to read.
Although you did incorporate a lot of different things into your story, I think it worked for you! I also liked how in your story, you had Little Bo Peep tell the story of Humpty Dumpty and you continued to follow the quest of Little Bo Peep as she searched for her sheep. Most of my comments about your second story, The Muffin Man, are similar to my comments to your first style. I think your storytelling style matches up nicely with nursery rhymes and that allows you to infuse stories that might be kind of dated with new life! Good job!
Hi Savannah! Your storybook is so fun! I love how you were able to merge different stories and present it through the context of Little Bo Peep. Your intro page is really great in introducing the character, and I really like your choice of design. The text is clear to read and make the different pictures stand out. The pictures were also well-chosen and contribute to vividly picturing the characters. I really liked your nod to Alice and her eccentricity in the rabbit hole bit. With Humpty Dumpty, you really expanded his character, and I loved your explanation of why he sat on the wall-- to greet people and tell stories! You idea of why he never had to leave was so great also! You merged different poems really well, and I like your version more than any of the separate rhymes. The next story, the muffin man, was even better! You merged all of the stories really well, and it explaining the muffin man's obsession very clearly. The flow of the different stories is very smooth, and you chose the Bo Peep story well to tie them all together. The stories within a main story is an excellent way to retell these nursery tales. I really enjoyed your storybook, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi, Savannah! I'm commenting on your storybook overall, and I have to say I think you've done a great job! From the moment I clicked on your page and saw your picture on your cover page, I was interested. Then, I read your introduction and I was hooked! I love how each of the main characters in your stories has a distinct voice and personality. Your Humpty Dumpty story made me smile because I have always been a little bit disturbed by the story (it is never explicitly stated in the nursery rhyme itself that Humpty is an egg, making the idea of putting him back together pretty horrifying!), but your version was wonderful. I love that you gave him some southern flair - I was honestly hearing Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey's character is House of Cards) when he spoke. You did a great job of not only incorporating many different nursery rhymes into each story, but you were also able to interconnect them - like Old King Cole being the King in Humpty Dumpty, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider being the spider that frightened Miss Muffet away. Even though you added a lot of characters and a lot of detail, I didn't find your stories overwhelming or cramped. You just did such a great job of tying everything together. It's also really cool and different that you allow the reader to hear a story about the main character and then we get to "meet" said character which creates an aspect of both direct and indirect characterization.That was a great touch! I can't wait to see what other rhymes you are able to weave into your stories. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your storybook thus far Savannah! Your coverage was adorable! Little Bo Peep looks super sassy and the overall visual appeal of your storybook is great. As far as the introduction goes, I really liked it. Everything was well written and I didn't see any typos in any of the stories. One thing I would like to praise you for was your ability to incorporate several nursery rhymes into each story. Additionally, the way you explained everything made me picture nursery land in my head and I was playing out each interaction with the characters. You had great detail and the way you told each story was very creative! I also like how you set each story up, so that way all of the stories flowed together and kept the reader intrigued. Another thing you did well was picking your pictures. Each picture was very well chosen and added to the overall appeal of your stories. Overall, you did a great job. These were great plot twists to the nursery rhymes that we grew up with. They were well written and great at keeping my attention, which is very hard for me to do! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook topic! It’s very catchy and drew me right in! When I read your introduction I got a clear sense of your voice and the tone of the storybook. You did a great job continuing that in all of the stories, too! All the stories just felt like they went together, and I loved how you meshed together stories (I’m a huge fan of crossovers, so when I say I loved it, I did) to make an in depth new story. The plot of your storybook is also spot on. The goal is to find the sheep. It’s easy and I get it, and it adds a lot of interest for the reader. I know I need to keep reading, so I can figure out where those sheep disappeared to. I adore the pictures you used throughout your storybook. They’re all similar in style and have the original poem on them. It’s great! Plus, it’s just all cohesive and also fit in really well with the theme you chose for your storybook. The colors all match and I’ve just really got nothing bad to say. The cursive in the navigation is a little difficult to read, but I honestly don’t even think you need the navigation since you’ve got all the pages linked. It might be more fun just to follow the links! Anyway, great job!
Savannah,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cute storybook! I love everything about it! I think your overall background and font are perfect for the theme and easy to read. The image on your homepage is really cute too. I really liked your introduction as well. I thought it was going to be Alice in Wonderland but with Little Bo Peep but I like that you didn't have her go down the rabbit hole but still used the rabbit as the explanation of how Bo Peep lost track of her sheep. I also like that your incorporating other Mother Goose characters and having them tell stories as well. I like how you linked the next story in the "follow me;" that's a really good idea.
The Humpty Dumpty story was cute too! I really like how you incorporated the story of the Three Little Pigs in there as well as parts of other nursery rhymes like "Star Light" and Old King Cole. I read in your author's note that you gave Humpty Dumpty an old southern man's personality and I can definitely see that! I also thought about the old man from Up. Grumpy Humpty Dumpty.
Overall great job!
Hi Savannah! I am doing the extra credit this week and I decided to read your storybook to comment on. I did the extra credit last week and for some reason I did not notice yours, but this week when I was scrolling through the list, your cute title caught my attention! Since I have not commented on your storybook yet, I will be commenting on your cover page, introduction, and first story. First of all, the layout of your storybook is awesome. It seems like you put a lot of thought and time into creating a layout and theme that matches perfect with your storybook. The curly font, pictures, and colors seem perfect for a storybook about nursery rhymes! I loved your introduction and it seems fitting for a children's book. I am assuming that is the idea you were going for? Your introduction was great by allowing us to know which nursery rhymes we are going to be hearing about, and you did a great job of not giving away too much! Your first story was so good! I like that you incorporated different nursery rhymes that most everyone is familiar with into the story of Humpty Dumpty. What a creative way to retell his story! I also like the picture you included because it has the original poem. Overall great job on your storybook so far, and I can't wait to read the rest of your storybook later!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah!
ReplyDeleteLet me just start by saying that I feel like I'm in the pages of a nursery book with your Storybook! I love it! Nursery rhymes are such a big part of a lot of people's histories and so I'm sure a lot of those people relate to it really well! I surely do. I definitely picked up on the old southern man accent of Humpty Dumpty! I'm so glad you gave him a voice and a happier ending than just dying...that was always so sad and my least favorite part. I love that Humpty gave Bo Peep a smile at the end of everything, it shows that the frown that is on him is not altogether permanent and things still make him happy! Old men can be grumpy later on in life too, so it fits well. This feels like an inception story kind of, too! A story within a story within a story! This is such a creative Storybook idea. I really can't wait to see what other nursery rhymes you use in the rest of your stories. You are doing a fantastic job and please keep up the good work!!
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute and very clever take on a very old nursery rhyme! I’m not sure if you noticed but your introduction has a little bit of a rhyming/ musical flow about it, kind of like in the original rhyme about Little Bo Peep and how she lost her sheep. What I really enjoyed was feeling like I jumped into a book and now knows how the characters are actually thinking and feeling about these situations. You did an incredibly job of intertwining different stories together. I would have never thought that Bo Peep and Alice in Wonderland would have been two stories that could have collided, but you definitely proved me wrong! Your stories definitely captured my attention! I had to know how you were going to intertwine each of the stories with another! Let me just say that your creative mind goes far beyond my bounds! I am so incredibly impressed. I think my brain exploded once I saw the “star light, star bright,” nursery rhyme! Make sure to reread your third paragraph in your second story, there is some stuff missing (he followed the smell). You got me again in that paragraph though! The Muffin Man to the Itsy Bitsy Spider to Little Miss Muffet! My brain is swirling! Absolutely excellent job! I actually ended up reading your storybook to a good friend of mine and just loved it too! Keep up the good work! Looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello again Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI decided to read your storybook again for my bonus because I really enjoyed your storybook last time, and I was excited to see what you wrote this week.
I enjoyed your Muffin Man story and I liked what you did with the story. You completely personalized it and made it your own. I know it’s hard to try and come up with stories especially if you base it off of a short nursery rhyme like that one. However, I think you did a ready Job. I liked how you first incorporated a story, within a story by giving us the run down on why the Muffin Man is in the first place, and why he is obsessed with muffins in the first place. The love story with Little Miss Muffet was sweet. He tried so hard to get her attention but, Itsy bitsy ruined it! It was nice how you blended in multiple stories into the same world, like the Itsy Spider. Well Done. I have a thought about the gingerbread man too. Didn’t the Muffin Man make the Gingerbread Man. I know it’s your story and all, but that would be cool if you could make another story just based off the gingerbread man, and why the muffin man decided to make him!! Anyways great job again!.
Hello Savannah! I chose your storybook as my free choice this week. I have not seen your storybook yet so I am going to comment on just about everything. Your cover page is wonderful and a great start to your storybook. I like the font you have chosen. The font reminds me of a children’s book. I do not know if that is what you were going for but if that was great job. The picture you have chosen is wonderful as well. The font for your introduction is nice and easy to read. Thank you for that! The introduction is amazing. It is one of the best that I have read this year. I really like how you included Alice. For a second I thought you were going to say that Little Bo Peep was actually Alice that would have been a crazy twist. I like that you added a picture to your introduction as well. I think this really helps pull the reader into the story. Your first story is incredible! You are so creative with your stories. I think this is the best storybook I have read this year or last year. I read some really good storybooks last year but none kept me as entertained as yours! You are a great writer and I will continue reading your storybook next week!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah! First of all, I love the theme of your storybook--I always find it so refreshing to read nursery rhymes that I've read countless times before, but from a new perspective. I thought the background that you chose, while plain, reflected the simplicity and innocence that these stories carry. I also loved the font that you chose; it adds a fun touch of whimsy. :)
ReplyDeleteYour stories are very well written, and I loved how you incorporated tales from all different sources. In your introduction, your mention of Alice made me chuckle. I really enjoyed how you set up your storytelling style very clearly: Little Bo Peep is the tour guide around this little town, and she will shed light on the everyday lives of the famous nursery rhyme characters.
I love that you retold the story of Humpty Dumpty. Like you said in the author's note, this is probably one of the most well known nursery rhymes--and you did a great job of framing it in a new light with the help of other childhood stories! The way that you told his story was very unique and original; great job!
The story of the Muffin Man was also so cute...the poor guy, I really hope he can win over Little Miss Muffet someday!
Overall, your story is coming along very nicely! Again, the way that you incorporate all different kinds of stories is great; they all mesh together effortlessly and in such a creative way. I can't wait to read more of your story later on!
Hi Savannah! I decided to do the extra credit for the commenting on storybooks this week, and because I loved reading your storybook story about Humpty Dumpty, I decided to come back and read more. Since I have already commented on your cover page, introduction, and first story, I read your second story and will be commenting on that.
ReplyDeleteI loved the beginning of your story. I could not imagine a world without sweets. I do not know how people live without sweets. I know they are bad for you but boy do they taste good! Again, I like how you have been adding more than one nursery rhymes to the main nursery rhyme you are trying to retell. It is such an awesome combination of different characters we are all familiar with. And poor Muffin Man! If it wasn't for the Itsy Bitsy Spider, maybe Little Miss Muffet would have liked the Muffin Man just as much as he liked her. Hopefully one day all his hard work of making muffins will bring Little Miss Muffet back to him and give him a chance!
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI'm back! I couldn't wait to read the new stories that you've come up with since I last looked at your story book. Let's just say that I wasn't disappointed haha. The Muffin Man is a great choice for your second story, because he is so well known. Also, every town, even in nursery land, needs a baker, so it is natural that the Muffin Man would be the town baker. I really enjoyed the story, and I was incredibly impressed at how many different nursery rhyme characters that you crammed into your story! Getting Little Miss Muffet and Itsy Bitsy Spider into a story about the Muffin Man in super creative. This story was great!
Your story about the Old Lady in the Shoe is just as impressive as your other stories! It still blows my mind that you were able to get so many other famous characters into such a short story. I also really like that you give a little back story for each character that Bo Peep visits. It's like she's actually introducing us into all of the inhabitants of the little town. Anyways, you're doing a fantastic job! Keep doing what you're doing!
Hello Savannah, I told you I would be back. Your storybook was so great last time that I just had to come back and read more. Your second story did not disappoint me. I love how creative you are with all of your stories. Adding other nursery rhymes into your stories is what I think I like best. The addition you made to the Muffin Man was perfect. I liked that a girl was the reason that he became obsessed with muffins. Making that girl Little Miss Muffet was the perfect way to add in a couple more nursery rhymes. When I read your stories, I get the feeling that you put a lot of time into them but then I start to think about my crazy stories and how they just seem to flow out. So I am left with the question do you spend a lot of time on these stories or do they just flow out? I was going to read your third story but I have already written so much that it would be a waste now. So I will read that one next week because I am addicted to your storybook and can’t get enough. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI picked your storybook project for my free choice this week. I had read through your introduction and your first story over Humpty Dumpty a few weeks ago and really enjoyed them. So I was definitely looking forward to reading more!
Your second story over the Muffin Man certainly did not disappoint! Like you mentioned in your author’s note, the nursery rhyme over the Muffin Man is extremely short, which leaves a lot of room for you to be creative. Having so little to work with can be difficult sometimes, but you did a wonderful job taking the short rhyme and creating an entire story out of it!
I thought the love story between the Muffin Man and Little Miss Muffet was absolutely adorable! I really like how you have taken so many different characters from various nursery rhymes and somehow connected them together.
Also, you did a great job of conveying the Muffin Man’s personality that you created. It was very distinguished like you wanted it to be. As a reader, I could tell that he was very spastic and obsessed with his muffins through the dialogue you created.
Overall, everything looks really good, and I am sure I will be coming back to read more!
Hey Savannah!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I thought that the layout of your site seemed very fitting for the theme of your storybook. The light white and creme colors reminded me of the wool from a sheep! The two images on the home page were really fun. I really liked the two dancing little sheep and the poem that went along with them.
The introduction to your storybook is superbly written! You've done a great job of really bringing the character of Bo Peep to life. The dialogue and vernacular of this character really makes her seem like an innocent little girl who just cares about her sheep. I like how you incorporated characters from other stories in this; when you first described the rabbit with the pocket watch, I thought to myself "Is that the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland?" When Bo Peep confirmed this with her line "Heck no, I'm not following that bunny down a rabbit hole; I'll leave that for Alice," it made me laugh! I like the idea that all of these characters from different fables all know each other. I can't wait to see what happens with Humpty Dumpty, the Muffin Man, and the Old Lady in the shoe!
So first off I absolutely love your cover page and overall theme! I think it is such a creative idea but also is one that we all know and love. We all grew up reading this story of having it read to us before we went to bed so I feel that it will grab the attention of readers in this class very quickly! I really like the picture you used and also the fact that it is in the center of the page, I think it makes the page look well balanced. I also like the colors and font you used, I think they all compliment each other and really strengthen the overall theme! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI think that your introduction page is really cute! Everything flows nicely together from the colors to the picture to the font. I like how you brought in another story briefly; Alice in Wonderland. I think it makes it a bit more creative and really shows versatility!
I love your Humpty Dumpty Story! That is another story that we always grow up hearing so I think it is fun to revisit them! Everything is written really well and is clear. I think that you did a great job of making everything easy to follow and not get confused by. Overall great job so far!
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteYour stories cease to amaze me! Every time I read one I am in absolute awe and amazement! I read your Living in a Shoe this week and I have to say I was not disappointed. Thank you very much for answering my question on how she can have so many children. You emphasized it so much I just had to know! I definitely love the way you introduced Jack. My favorite was the “yeah, he’s a little strange” comment you made about him. I find Bo Peep’s dry humor to be hilarious and quite refreshing. And it makes so much sense that the parents would give the Old Woman their kids to keep them safe. I was hoping she was going to pull a Brad-gelina and just adopt a million kids. I really liked how Mary was Bo Peep’s friend. It just makes since because they are both so into barn yard animals, specifically sheep. I think you set a record for how many nursery rhymes you could fit into one story with this one! That was such a wonderful end to the entirety of your storybook. It is perfectly fitting that Old McDonald would have them and put them in Mary’s care. Excellent job, yet again!
Hello again Savannah, I am back for the end of your storybook. I still cannot get over how great your story has been. I thoroughly enjoy reading your storybook. You knocked the last story out of the park! I loved how you were able to include so much in the last story. I think having Solomon Grundy as her husband was the perfect way to give her a husband. Having him as the husband was an easy way to get him out of the way so that she could be alone with the children. I thought that the city having a child ban was a great way to have people give her their child. I agree that she should have a child of her own. Making that child Jack was a great choice that allowed you to add another rhyme. Having him locked up being the reason that he came up with jumping over the candle stick was just great. I can’t believe that all of this flowed easily. I look at this story and I do not think that I would be able to add so much to my story. I guess my stories all just kind of flow like that as well but this includes so much. Great job on your storybook!
ReplyDeleteSavannah, what a cute idea you have going with the missing sheep and Little Bo Peep having to find them! I think the theme of your site is really fitting for Bo Peep as well with the simple layout cute, girly elements, and pictures from storybook pages with the main story lines on them. I think they set up the storybook and its stories really well!
ReplyDeleteAs for your introduction, I was not sure what kind of stories you would tell and just assumed they would all center on Little Bo Peep, but I love that you brought in other nursery rhyme characters (and even mentioned Alice from Alice in Wonderland) in your intro to stop in with to help find the sheep and tell their stories. That was a really neat and unique idea!
I ended up reading the story titled "Living in a Shoe," and I was SO impressed. I think it was so unique and well-told. The way you incorporated so many characters into the story and it still flowed so well and made sense was really impressive. You tied them all together and creatively told a really good story! It obviously must have taken a lot of work to read, re-incorporate and tie all these elements together and I think you did it so well.
Overall, your idea for your storybook and the way the stories were told was really great!!! Good job, Savannah!
Hi, Savannah.
ReplyDeleteI decided to come back to your storybook project yet again! I have really enjoyed reading your stories, so I am a little sad that they are coming to an end! Once again, you have done a really nice job on taking such short nursery rhymes and expanding on them and elaborating enough to create an entirely new story.
I thought your grandma character was a great idea! Also, I really like the way you incorporated Solomon Grundy into the story as her husband. Although it was really unfortunate that he died so quickly, it worked out nicely with your story! It was also nice to see all the various kids from different nursery rhymes brought in as Grandma’s children; that was precious!
I have to admit, I did not know that the Child Snatcher was from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So I am really glad you mentioned that in your author’s note. As far as keeping the mood to the story light and childlike, I think you did a great job! It is no easy task to essentially kill off a character in a children’s story, but you did it without being overly morbid or killing the mood of the story.
Overall, I think you did a great job with this project, and I am glad I got to read it!
I am so glad that I had the opportunity to finish reading your storybook! I read it a few weeks ago and I just had to know how it ended. You once again did a great job of incorporating several different nursery rhyme characters into one story. This shows how creative you are and how good you are at making connections. The fact you were able to use the old woman who lives in a shoe and put several characters as her kids was genius! I also was glad that the story had a happy ending. The ending was kind of abrupt though, and I was shocked by that. You may consider dragging out the interaction between little bo peep and the old woman who lives in a shoe. It seemed very quick and like something was missing. just a thought though. Other than that I loved every story you put in your storybook. I thought everything was well-written and that you did an amazing job. You did an exceptional job at using detail and imagery. I loved everything about this storybook! You should be proud of yourself, you have truly created something special. Great job and thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteSavannah,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook is so so cute! I think it could definitely be printed as a real book!
Poor little Muffin Man! All that hard work only to be ruined by the Itsy Bitsy Spider. I really enjoy how you incorporate so many different characters from different stories into one without making it overwhelming or weird. I know in the original story Miss Muffet is scared away by a spider, but I like that you made Itsy Bitsy and that the Muffin Man accidentally scared her away. I think it all just ties together so well. The image you used is really cute too!
I really liked the Living in a Shoe story! I liked that you gave the Old Woman a background and explained why she had so many children. And again, I really like how you incorporated so many different stories into this one. The images you used were really cute too. I was a little disappointed to read in your author's note that this is probably your last story. They're all so cute and well written! I definitely got the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference!
Overall, I think this is a really great storybook and really well written!
Savannah,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook has such a doll-like look to it! It reminds me of a children’s book style. I love that you wrote the introduction in first person from Bo Peep’s perspective and she brings the audience in to help her find her sheep. Oh! I love that you brought the Alice in Wonderland theme in as well with the rabbit! It is so funny that she is friends with Alice. By bringing in all these characters we know, it’s really going to be a fun trip through your storybook!
For Humpty Dumpty, you used such good imagery to create the environment. I can just imagine that wall and ol’ Humpty Dumpty sitting on it! I like this rendition of his story. Being a storyteller and kind hearted person, of course the Big Bad Wolf would pick on him! What a crazy idea that his sad frown would ruin his personality!
I can tell you really put a lot of creative thought into this story. The stories you chose all fit together so wonderfully and it creates a way for us to have this story in Nursery Land unlike any other we have known. Good job on your storybook! It is such a fun read!
Hey Savannah, this is my first time to read your storybook but I am glad that I did!
ReplyDeleteYour coverpage was great and it set the mood for the entire story. I thought the picture that you chose was perfect! I did not read the 1895 version, but I remember reading out of a book with a very similar cover!
I really liked your introduction. Your reference to Alice was pretty funny and set up the rest of the stories. "Heck no" - awesome. I can picture her saying that! I noticed a spelling error - "If my precious sheep aren't there, then *w'll go over to see the Muffin Man" but other than that it was excellent.
As I keep reading, I gain more and more of an appreciation for the stories you wrote. You did a fantastic job of linking everything together and picking a group of nursery rhymes that would work together. Each story has such an interesting mix of nursery rhymes and they all fit together perfectly. I have never thought about doing this, but it might definitely help out someday when kids come along. If one story doesn't get them to sleep, maybe a segway into the next will help put them at ease! Thanks for the idea!